The empty nest is one of the most talked about stages in an adult’s life. Some will even label it a “syndrome” like it’s some disease! While others call it an all-out celebration. Young parents may dream of a day without diapers. A time of life where they might possibly get to use the bathroom without company. Parents of teens may try to put the brakes on the calendar in hopes that they can have one last opportunity with their eager young adults to impart some much-needed wisdom.
Since we are in the second official year of our youngest leaving home for college, I have had some reflection time to try to figure out what is so great about the empty nest.
You see, I was that mom who loved her mom role. The early years were some of my favorites. I enjoyed coming up with fun at-home activities for my toddlers and preschoolers. Sure, there was lack of sleep involved, but there always seemed to be enough excitement to get us through the sleepy days. I thought I would miss those days terribly, but the next stage proved to be just as fun. Saturdays at the ball field were the norm. I even enjoyed being the taxi mom to my pre-drivers. I mean, that’s when you have the best conversations, right? The dreaded teenage years were not half as bad as I expected. In fact, I have to say that I absolutely enjoyed traveling all over Texas (at least it seemed that way) watching my kids excel in their favorite sports. So, you may think that all that activity skidding to a stop would have me reeling and lost.
Nope. Not at all. Now I don’t want you to think that I do not miss my kids now that they are not under my roof. I miss them terribly. But here is the thing that I believe has helped me enjoy every stage of their childhood and now will help me enjoy every stage of their adulthood.
I get to watch with anticipation as they experience what’s next in life. I get to be their biggest cheerleader as they navigate some exciting times and some tough times. Just like when they were young. This is not always easy, but it’s why I am their mom.
So, what’s so great about the empty nest?
If you are a pre-empty-nester wondering if you will make it when your kiddo leaves, maybe this list will help you get a little more excited. If you are an empty-nester, maybe it will remind you of some of the more positive aspects of this place we find ourselves.
I get to focus more time and energy on my husband.
Let’s face it. Even when we try to put our spouse before our kids, they always seem to find a way to squeeze into the mix. And to some extent, that’s ok. But now. There are fewer distractions because there are fewer people in the house. It’s just easier to pay attention to one person than to many.
My schedule is more flexible.
Although I miss those full weeks where we are at a nightly event or activity involving the kids, I get to say yes to other important things now. Or sometimes I get to say yes to me and what I would like to do. Which may be exactly nothing! (By the way, in case you forgot, doing nothing is incredibly satisfying.)
Other relationships get a boost.
We can only give so many of our waking hours to others. And when the kids are at home, they get most of them, right? Well, now I have some hours in my week to cultivate other relationships. Mom, girlfriends, sister, and even new friends get a piece of the pie.
My food bill is under budget.
That NEVER happened before. I am amazed at the relatively small amount of food that my husband and I eat. We can make a meal last forever. Grocery store trips are infrequent and much cheaper. Oh, and eating out. Unbelievably inexpensive. (Except when you do it too much!)
Laundry day is a breeze.
Did I mention that my boys loved to play sports? I’ve heard that girls wear a lot of clothes, but boys sweat. A lot. Therefore, the laundry pile was large. These days, I can get those piles washed dried and hung up in no time flat.
Even though some nights are too quiet and conversations with the kids are farther apart, the empty nest is a time to enjoy, just like the other seasons of parenting life. So hopefully you can look forward to the empty nest instead of dreading it. It’s not so bad. I promise.
Empty-nesters out there…. what is your favorite part of this journey?
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, remembering that as members of the same body you are called to live in harmony, and never forget to be thankful for what God has done for you.
Colossians 3:15