Telling Family Stories: 6 Whys and 6 Hows

Have you ever thought what the world would be like without stories? From stories, we get books and movies, we learn history, and we even learn about our origin into the world. But stories not only entertain and inform. They also tell us who we are and where we are going. They give us a spot to belong. Stories even give us a launching point for our future. If they can serve us, as adults, in this way, imagine what stories can do for our children.

 

 

I don’t know about you, but my mom was a picture taker. My siblings and I had more pictures taken of us than I can even count. Not only that, but my mom also put the pictures in albums so that we could actually look at our history anytime we wanted to. And we did. From pictures of our homemade dresses to easter egg hunts to birthday candles in breakfast biscuits, we had a picture to remember each event, both large and small.

Those pictures were just one way that my parents chose to tell the stories of our family. My parents shared verbal stories, as well. What was so important about telling these stories? Why was it worth the time and effort to intentionally remember and rehearse family stories with us kids? I think my parents were on to something. I believe they knew these six reasons why telling family stories is of utmost importance.

Stories tie the past to the future.

Reliving happenings from the past gives you a sense of your history. It shows that you are part of a bigger story that you can have influence over. When a person knows her history, it opens up a world of possibility for the future. I teach history, and when the students begin hearing the stories that make up our collective history, they are enthralled with the way that those before us lived. When we put our own families in that narrative, it makes it even more fun to imagine what life would be like if we had been born at a different time. It helps us see that even though times are different, people remain pretty much the same. My grandmother’s family had just as many problems as mine has. And they endured those hardships just like I will.

Stories anchor a person to a family.

There is no better way to feel a part of something than to be in the middle of the ongoing stories associated with it. Stories provide identity. It is an innate need for children to want to belong to something bigger than themselves. Whether your family is made up of biological children, adopted children or both, every person needs to feel like he is a part of the whole. Have you ever seen a person that does not seem to belong in his family? That person needs to be tied to family stories the most.

Stories help us remember the past.

We pull out the old picture albums any time we want to clarify how, when, or where something happened in our past. Talking about the past strengthens the memory of those who join in. There are family happenings that are only remembered because people keep talking about them. Sure, those stories grow and change over time, but the important thing is that the story helps us remember the past. The older I get, the more I have forgotten. But if I can remember a story attached to something significant that happened, I have something to tag in my brain. The details come back more readily.

Stories provide a way to review God’s blessings.

It is important to recognize that stories affect the gratitude we feel. And who doesn’t need more gratitude in their life? When we can laugh about the fun time we had on vacation or our unintentional run-in with a frightened skunk on the porch, it helps us remember how blessed we truly are. I’m convinced that even in the hardest times of our lives, stories provide a kind of salve to our souls as we remember how God has granted us grace and provided for our every need.

Stories can be a how-to guide.

Stories are a teacher for us as we make decisions for ourselves and our families. Let’s face it. Life can deal us some doozies! Sometimes we win, and sometimes we learn. Not every part of life’s journey is a walk in the park. But we can redeem those rocky places to help us as we move on. Or better yet, we can use our story to speak into someone else’s life who needs to hear it and learn from us.

Stories can be just plain fun.

Never underestimate the role of stories in your life as entertainment. You have heard the phrase, “You can’t make this stuff up.” Real life is more entertaining than fiction. Just look at all the reality shows available for our viewing! One of my favorite stories is how my husband would join my boys for lunch at school when they were in elementary school. He would spend that time getting to know their friends and telling them the completely made-up story of how we got our last name. It was quite a tale, and our sons enjoyed watching their friends try to decide if this tall tale could possibly be true.

 

By now your mind is probably full of stories in your past. Maybe it was a special vacation you took with your family. Or how your parents surprised you with that super special gift on Christmas morning.

So what do you do with these stories? How can you use those stories to influence who you are and make an impact on the world? What about the stories you are currently making every day? Stories with your spouse or your kids or your grandkids? How will you continue to keep those stories alive so that they become a part of the people you care about most?

It’s easy, really. Whether you choose to preserve those stories through pictures or videos, through written words, or through spoken words, the important thing is that you do something to keep the stories alive.

Here are six tips to make sure your stories are not forgotten.

1.Turn off the noise and just start talking. Harder than it sounds, I know. Telling stories has to start with making sure the person or people you are talking to are actually listening. So go somewhere that is free of screens. Outdoors is a great idea. Take a walk or a drive. Stargaze. The place is not important, but make sure there are few distractions. Share as many details as you can recall and the feelings you experience from the memories that come to your mind.

2. Be the one that asks questions. Some people may be reluctant to share something about their past, but they may answer a few questions that you are curious about. This will usually ensure that more stories will come forth. Use prompts to ask the questions. I remember a time that I put together a photo album of some pictures from my grandmother’s younger years. When I showed her the pictures, the stories began to flow. I treasure the recording and the transcript of my Granny’s stories to help me know her better.

3. Travel to a place from your past. Sights and smells can trigger memories in an incredible way. When you can be where your story took place, you will be able to recall more than if you are just imagining it in your mind. My husband and I recently got the opportunity to do this with some childhood places. Those places brought back memories of people and fun times that we both enjoyed immensely.

4. Don’t be afraid to delve deeper into your memory. Our life stories are not always what movies are made of, but even the difficult times can be a teacher to us and those with whom we share. It’s important that our stories are authentic in order to have the most impact.

5. Make your pictures and videos available to future generations. It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words and a video is worth a million. In our digital age, it is easy to take many pictures and videos, but then forget about them or just delete them. I challenge you to keep the best pictures from the year and put in them in an album of some sort, whether digital or traditional.

6. Write your stories down. You heard me correctly. While a spoken history is an incredible gift to those who hear,  a written history will last for many generations. Don’t be intimidated. Start small. Write a journal entry about your day to day life or keep a vacation journal. Purchase a fill-in-the-blank legacy journal from your local book store. It will be a great springboard to get you “talking.” Or simply write something down each week that you would want your great grandchildren to read.

 

It’s clear that there are physical, psychological and spiritual advantages to hearing and telling family stories. Whether you are a great grandparent or a young adult, you can be on the giving and the receiving end of this incredible endeavor.

So now it is your turn. Chime in on the comments and share your best tips for family story telling.

Tell us one way that you tell your family’s stories.

How do you get your children involved in family storytelling?

 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, remembering that as members of the same body you are called to live in harmony, and never forget to be thankful for what God has done for you.

Colossians 3:15